Let them love you
A couple things happened in the past few weeks that really
made an impact on me.
We got a chance to visit my folks - I just love visiting my
childhood home! You are overcome with a sense of peace and joy. Like the a cozy
blanket, being with my parents & family brings comfort. Yet, mixed in that experience hidden beneath the folds, I still
have to fight off old habits. Old ways of thinking and living that I have been
freed of, but through smells and sights, come to the forefront of my mind,
attempting to lure me back into its grasp.
My friends, that takes a lot of strength to fight off. If
you remember from previous posts, I had a bout with anorexia in junior high and
although the physical nature of it was overcome the mental games lingered on in
my mind until last year. Was I good enough? Pretty enough? Thin enough? And
once again I was bombarded by these thoughts after my trip home.
I know who I am and Whose I am. I am good enough. Yet it is
so freeing to be reminded of it by others!
Enter my darling children.
Baby crawled up to me the other day when I was on the floor
tired and frazzled and looking you know, not so hot. He started attempting to
kiss my face, which really meant licking it! And at first I was going to take
him away, because he was slobbering all over me! But then I saw the joy and
love in his face. He loved me, his mama, with such a fierce joyful love that
made him giggle! He "kissed" me and laughed and kissed me and laughed
and hugged my head and kissed me again. I realized he wanted – and needed – to love
me. As I let down my guard of "gross slobber need to clean", and just
let him live on me - I changed...I was affirmed as someone worthy of such
affection. And what an affirmation that is!
The other night, it was one of those days and I desperately
needed a shower, and I said something to my husband like "I know I'm gross
but let's just sit down and eat dinner." To which he responded,
"you're beautiful! You're not gross at all! You are so beautiful!"
And then my oldest (10 year old son) chimed in, "listen to that song, mom.
Then you'll know you're beautiful! You know the one that doesn't know it but
she is." He meant of course "She don't know she's beautiful" by
Sammy Kershaw. And again, my first thought was, he's just a kid what does he
know and then I was able to push that wall aside and look at him. He believed
it! He said it so matter of factly though as it was just a given "my mom's
beautiful." And once again as I let him love me, I was affirmed as someone
to be loved and once again it changed me...
So my advice for you today, let them love you. It helps them, but it will transform you.
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what love looks like :-) |
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